Thursday, January 5, 2012

Single and Lovin' it???

As the idea for this blog title popped in my mind, it reminded me of the popular phrase, "single and lovin' it". However, I haven't really been able to apply that to me. There are tons of times where I haven't loved being single. I've honestly shed tears and gone through deep emotions and questioning God as to when it will be my turn to find that person He has reserved for me. In my questioning, I also was asking for signs and even giving Him deadlines. "Lord, help me find someone to marry by 30." "Lord, help me find someone to marry by 35." "Lord, I want to be engaged by 40." "Lord, I'm 45. Can I just have a nice date?".

So far, it hasn't gone very far. I can count the boys/men I've dated over my lifetime on my hands. I even tried several of the dating sites which turned out to be a big dud and cost me money I didn't really want to spend on such a risk. I "thought" God was leading me down that path. I even coined the phrase on a dating profile that God closed some doors, but I never expected him to open a computer window. (rimshot time...Corny, I know.)

This past holiday season, I've made a decision to change my approach. I'm doing my best to fully enjoy the moments that I have with someone who may come along rather than let my mind rush to a future with him. I'm letting God show me who I'm meant to be with. And if there's nobody (male) available, I'll enjoy the time I can with my family and my friends.

Years ago, I had a conversation after work with a trusted mentor. She reminded me that God will fill our deepest desires. She said He will know when BOTH of us are ready. "May He give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed." (Psalm 20:4) "Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart." (Psalm 37:4)

I didn't know then that I wasn't ready. I thought I was. I let myself feel down while watching so many others who were children when I was their age (20s & 30s) find a loving relationship and start families while I was still waiting. I couldn't really be happy for them, but harbored a deep jealousy instead. 

So, how does a Christian women go about being "single and lovin' it"? For me, that is taking a different approach to how I live. Every morning, I'm telling myself to find the joy in my day. Instead of regretting my singleness, I remind myself of the things I can do being alone. The best part is that I'm actually starting to believe it. For me, it's come down to loving God and having a daily conversation with him out loud. He really is there. It's time for me to find the way to love being a single for now.

Find the Joy, my single friends!

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